Times and moments of inflicted solitude

it’s in times and moments of contemplation that we discover who is it that lives within us

I am searching for something that leads to the establishment and the completeness of my being here

I am enquiring the basics that answer the complex

‘I am in a place of contoured outbreaks and crossed paths

I feel in myself the need to be conformed and have the population that has been given to me to live with to have them verify me as one of their own

I am in spaces in time and moments of forced inflicted solitude

I am thrown here and there by the consistent, constant voices to have an identification that flows with the tide

I am in limbo junction of what I can and cannot do

I have in me that which is of unmatched equal and that which is, is re-inforced by my nature

yet I know that it’s in these moments that I can have a discovery of who I am

there is no insignificance there is no uselessness “No” that does not live here

here lives great potential here lives greater than me dreams that cry out to a higher power

I am the very being that is of absolute uniqueness

I have in me the times and dates set apart for great moments life altering events and divine meetings

Times and moments of stillness

One thing I know……..Greatness when confronted with average there comes a great clash.
When greatness is on the earth it faces a lot of resistance and that is why that in these moments of alones and moments of solitude all will point to my soar and strength the strength to have while you do not. and endure , and yet we were not made to be alone and I in this moment am strengthened and in the time of my summer all will look to me and find the one thing all will desire the ability to soar thru the storm and as I endure so will those who come to me do the same endure and learn how to soar

An empty page.

Empty spaces filled with words

Empty vacant occupied by lettering

Empty screen I fill with alphabets

Empty white I mark it with saying and wording

I say I write I feel and while I do I capture all everything all instances and moments

From the thread and curl of hair to the reason why we wake up in the morning

I write I fill the world with words I saturate the paper on the screen with
utterances that otherwise would not have been said if they hadn’t been written by my hand

I am going to capture it all

Every m0oment every whimper every feeling every movement every entity every character I wanna see it all I am going to see it all capture it all and once again I will script it and the world will know about it

An empty page I cannot stand.

I write and see what the letter I say say I capture myself even with the speech my heart produces I have so much to say and so much to describe and put into words I am the writer of songs of love of the things that occupy space

… and in all instances I write to say it all.

i can

I can’t live in this house alone I can’t go on existing in solitary with me the furniture and the pet. I do not want to be confined to my own self and have no one to share my parts to share the inhabitants of my soul with. I do not want to wake up alone I do not want to wake up on the cold empty bed, the staring walls will encave me and the voice that wants dialogue will consume me

I feel misplaced .

I want you to change but I know I can’t change you

The risk of being with you and the person you become at times makes me want to venture out makes me want to cut loose all ties with you yet I fear, I fear the risk I venture to take may end up in me being alone, so I am doubtful….doubtful yet solitude leaves me numb. The thought of it keeps in an asylum within me
So….come…..No, you can’t do what you do though……

Or better yet stay away, yet I fear solitude and alone… yet then the fear you bring when you become my enemy
(The end unknown)
.

I.

I’m letting it I am allowing it I am letting it take hold letting it take possession i don’t quiet understand the full measure of this yet it feels good its like the first candy of my childhood sweet and just wanting more of it I want it over and over I am letting it I am allowing it to take hold the pleasure I fell is what makes it so an attachment with me its the fabricated and well formed formulated art of wanting that which feels good its going back to “oh gosh it feels so good it must be right” yet I am letting it I am giving it an allow its so pleasurable its what I want daily now I am letting it its so deliberately good that it’s a tinkle I want it and it’s a thirst that every time I quench it I want to thirst again I want it absolutely and yet I know that the more I have the more I will get used and the more you leave natural habits to pursue the unnatural or whatever the more immune you are to that which you are apt to enjoy yet I want it reason has gone out the door and the more I think about it the more I want it …I should stop writing then it will be distant from thought yet the …oh God I want it and having it is what I want to do.

letting go

We were and now we are not the thing is not that I do not love you the pieces fit together yet they just seem misplaced the thing is not that we do not love each other we do its just that I cannot do this anymore I am trying to figure out what exactly it is that has us in this position I have been with you forever and its just not right anymore I just cant do this it’s not loving each other that’s the problem like I said that’s okay yet its just that we are not in a place that suits us both you say this and I fell well yeah as it should that should be a given that should be uninterrupted that doesn’t need translation and you think your extremities are my exaggeration yet the thing is you are not seeing what I want you to see anymore the quick glances of appreciation are not there anymore you are missing the detail you are not paying attention to the minute you are seeing the painting from afar and you are not appreciating the delicate parts that make it what it is it s not me being what you can’t handle its me being the thing that need s your most regard you have become unbridled with me and and in that you have lost the concentrated attention-… you know what I got it we… got familiar we have been in each others lives that the other is missing and not handling with care others most basic needs and we are in a place where we are not in hold of one another’s emotion we are becoming unattended and disregarded we are un-attuned to the other the sounds were are making are bouncing off there is no soak anymore we are just in an ongoing meeting of casual familiarity there is just an unexplainable missing something the part where we are enamored with each other that our feelings carry us is over, its.… I don’t know maybe it s me or it s you or its you and me yet whatever its not working so then I think we should part and the time we spent together is not wasted its just in memorabilia of what we will always hold sacred in our hearts….us.

Words.