Take me far

Harry Winston....Freddy or Cartier any would do.

laughing at you being here

I laugheed CAUSE you were there I laughed caUSE OF THAT THING YOU DO WHEN YOU DO THAT THING YOU DO I LAUGHED CAUSE YOU ARE WITH ME TAKING TIME TO MAKE ME YOUR OBJECT OF PLEASURE I LAUGH CAUSE YOU ARE HERE I LAUGH BECAUSE YOU MAKE BEING IN MY BODY A GREAT EXPERIENCE I LAUGH CAUSE YOU ARE TRULY MY OBJECT OF AFFECTION you pleASe me in such great levels of intimacy yet the one I love most is being where you are when you do that thing you do when you do it I

Spaces filled yet so unoccupied
The space before me is filled, yet it has no occupant
The time has passed and all that is is of absence and minused filling
The time has caused my memories to be the only thing that fills this vacancy
I am looking at a life gone by and a life waiting for fulfillment
Evident of what was and is no more
The spaces in my head filling up with the events which have passed
I am here and I have lived here left my mark my unremovable prints on everything in sight

That which was bearable and that which bore me
I am in this place of reminiscence
An inescapable leap and bounds of memories and un-letted go of emotional attaches which make this so hard to do…leave.
I occupy this space as much as it has occupied me… it’s so empty yet so full

i...i...i... what is it that me

I Have you u are at my palm u cannot escape me even if u put your best attempt you are mine and I am yours you are my object and my amuse I have you and I am sometimes a pleasure and sometimes a pain I make u laugh and make you cry just as I want you I find you want me too we obsess over each other we love(maybe I shudn’t use that word) much and we also hate much sometimes we exhaust one another yet we never grow tired of each other . … we exhaust each other with what we can’t articulate yet we feel we can’t express - so we crash, in our effort to have it outlet out of us I have you just as much as you have me I…(contemplate) need you or do I?, without (contemplate)… u?! so…, the idea of u not with me is a similarity to a baby’s pacifier at 3 you are so not necessary for me yet I need you near I can’t let go it’s a mutual obsession we share the needing or wanting I need a word to put description to this yet it’s me not wanting to let go having the mess that is so bad for me being the only thing I want it’s going back to the thing of how can something so wrong feel so right it the most unhealthiest of habit my addiction to you and its my breathing essential need to rid myself of it you seem to have had yet I still struggle I have you and although I completely am in emotional attachment and addiction with or to you I don’t think its what the shrink people would call love its what I think we the messed ”should be careful calling myself that then I become it” up would call collectors possession and letting you go would be a drug I can’t get over I have you yet what is it that has me?

-So what is this what is this image what do you spend your whole day doing what are you building what are you making up you put blood and sweat over this what is its purpose…...

-Its too soon to tell.

quiety.

The time of absolute abandon the time of total quiet thrills and simple pleasures the time of quiet contemplation and planned uneventfulness the time of walks on the beach on the Hamptons summer rented house a house on the beach close to the store that has the best red wine you will ever have and will take you a whole week to finish because you are capturing every moment of the sip the time of long conversations about nothing and laughs from the stomachs bellowing up causing a raucous sound a time of simply let the hair down and enjoying the person you are and being happy with where you are at the time spent with friends you have known for years and you found out there is still more to know about them a time of just absolute and comlpete minimalism…Oh God!

My entire...

So I walk I walk this field and it start to rain it starts to pour and all I know is that its been raining in me for long now I have been pouring out the water filled in me through the tears I have cried I have been through the most turmoil of times it hasn’t been of my most comfort it has been of my detriment yet I carry on I master the strength to wake up even in the most normal of mornings and sojourn through my existence so as to fill the quietness with schedules and deadlines I fill the silence with clutter and all the while it’s the hours I am escaping it’s the moments that have me captive it’s the times of my existence I try to run away from I have been working and toiling trying to bring sense and a logic to the minutes spent on the place I have been given to live I feel like I’m unraveling like I am insidiously outgrowing the time of existing that I have in my life before the expiry date I have not that which I want and everything feels so wrong it’s the moments it’s the years its times it’s the hours between me and who I wake up as it is death yet I need to choose life yet to my dismay I have not known what exactly is that I cannot find myself in stillness and content I search I search and all I find is the stillness of my puzzlement and the reckoning of my events to come I have with me only the time only the hours only the minutes only the seconds to find myself before I loose that which keeps me on earth….life.

Inspired by the life of Virginia Woolf…. coming out from the movie…The hours

Its death yet I choose life I do not what that means right now yet I say it I speak it “I choose life” and in so doing so I feel my whole space with life…Creator spoke the earth into being therefore I speak and continue saying life until it takes its abide in me….

My say to those who are feeling similar.

Don't mistake it.

Okay so here we are in this place and time and moment and this decision which needs to be made before us is inevitable, you are to me my most want and most never get so here we are at the place of decision a place of momentous resolutions and I hope that all that you have come to be will be all that I have come to embrace. I am going out of my mind trying to fix that which has been broken so - I m letting things go and releasing what I cannot change, so till we solve this thing called u and me, I think its best we come to a separate turn because I cannot and will not tolerate this tumult. I am unsettled and need you to be the thing that winds me down yet if you cannot provide that source I will not break and I will not cease to be, you use to have me at such a clutched grasp and... I was made certain to believe your absence is my non- exist yet this is my solve here is what needs to occur lets part ways understanding I had you and you had me and it was swell while it lasted but now its time for us to be without….do not mistake this for lack of love for you just think of it as maturity finding itself in me….love you yet can’t be with you .need… need you yet need to let you go more.

You are beautiful

You are so beautiful

Your beauty capture images and imaginations even I cannot articulate

You are surreal

This kind of beauty is only dreamt about yet you possess it

You are so sterile, sterile in flaws and mishaps

You are beautiful my love

Beautiful
Dream away let what you imagine come true and come to pass for you the world is moved you are beautiful

Forever star.

There is an art in having the spotlight taken away

And it shining off you.

You ask “Is there?”

I answer “absolutely”

The light is taken away because you are not anymore…
Yet you once were, which is by far better than never having being
And the spotlight shone on you
And others saw you and they voice your performance and
Their voice is heard throughout
You live in their witness

You are Immortal
Forever remembered
Forever known
And Eternally immortalized

The spotlight shines forever once it has shone on you

smile after a kiss

Smile after a kiss move your lips upward after an encounter of another

The tingling sensation the tickle in your spine the laughter of your insides

The pleasure of a lip lock

I taste you in my mouth and I just want more

When I finished kissing you it was only the start

There was no finish because the smile was a permasmile

Its architecture

I kissed you and I smile…really I kiss you and I smile

I call it smile after the kiss

i slept with flowers in my hands

Dinner at 1 a.m

Lets meet lets come together you n me lets convene have a gathering
I would love to see you I would love to converse with you
I want to meet you I want to be in the company of you


Come lets meet, the city …the life of you and me
Come lets meet lets have dinner lets have a meal
How does that suit you.


Dinner at 1 a.m is that suitable.
Lets meet for dinner at 1 a.m